I recently asked someone, “How do you feel about brine?”

“It’s salty.”

“…and wet.”

Ohhh baby! That’s what I’m talking about!

For those of you who are (A) not really sure what a dirty martini is or (B) don’t understand what makes some martinis dirty and other martinis clean – unless it’s the company you happen to be keeping at the moment –  here’s a quick little primer:


About to get down and dirty


Martinis 101

All classic martinis are made from vodka or gin, depending on your taste preferences. Many martinis also include dry vermouth – some people like a slug of the stuff, others lean towards a splash, while yet others consider the job done so long as you look at the vermouth bottle sitting on the bar next to you.

Note, I said classic martinis.  Just because somebody serves you neon pink froth in a martini glass and it kicks your brain back to kool-aid in third grade …….a martini it does not make.

Dirty martinis inject olive juice into the mix. Briny, salty goodness indeed!

Tips on Making a Kick A** Martini

  • Fill your martini glass to the brim with ice, top with cold water, and let that baby chill while you get your chemistry set on.
  • Load your shaker with ice and ingredients of choice, cap, and shake that bitch until your hands have fused to the shaker.
  • Unglue hands from shaker. Empty martini glass.
  • Toss a dash of vermouth into the glass, swirl around, and toss out.
  • Strain your “shaken not stirred” – you should see a razor thin layer of ice floating on the surface.
  • Garnish and serve.


Hey Sue! Sup?

Meet Dirty Sue

A few months ago, my dear friend Spanky introduced me to the dirtiest of dirty martinis. She had found the ultimate secret ingredient to help you truly get your dirty on. The one thing that can make your dirty martini reach right up out of that martini glass and slap you upside the head. What is it, you ask?

It’s a wee little bit’o olive brine in a slick little package called Dirty Sue. This bottle of heaven is far beyond the standard juice you find housing an army of bobbing green olives – it is straight-up, concentrated olive brine.  I like to think of it as getting mean and dirty. So if you like your martinis down and dirty, you’ll probably love Dirty Sue as much as Spanky and I do.